‘So where you been out to?’
‘Oh, some museums and vintage shopping and this one great flea market, where-’
‘No, like clubs and stuff?’
This is a conversation that took place with my brother the other day. I am the uncool one raving about museums. But Berlin is infamous for its smoky bars and un-regulated opening hours, so here is my short guide on how to be savvy in da club. Based on a jumble of experiences, but mostly just this one time when my dj flatmate took me on a pity night out with his guestlist.
1) WEAR BLACK
I do not have a completely black outfit, so compromised with head-to-toe navy. The Berliners however, seem to have been watching too much MIC recently (quote Victoria from episode 1: ‘I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker colour’). I asked my flatmate if he would ever wear anything else, and he answered with an appalled, ‘Never!’ – although he did add that he owns expensive clothes too. (I’m not sure for whose benefit that was, in my navy ensemble I had no right to be judgemental.) Anyway, Berlin club = Colours only acceptable if they are on your snazzy trainers.
2)EMBRACE THE DUNGEON
We were in a dark and smoky cellar of an old factory, bathed in red lighting. There were some corners I didn’t dare peer into, as the common catchphrase seems to be ‘anything goes!’. There are similar rooms in Berghain (the king of all Berlin nightlife).
3) NO SELFIES
Finding myself alone after my flatmate went to go embrace more ‘label’ people, I went to pull out my phone to exploit tipsy snapchatting opportunities, when I realised there was an angry sign condemning all use of cameras and phones. Anything goes in there, I told you.
4)PFAND
When you buy an expensive drink, you get a tiny plastic coin which gives you money when you return it with the glass. The girl I was with, another label friend of my flatmates, explained this very carefully and slowly to me. Then, she took my coin for herself. Cheeky.
5)SOLO CLUBBING
Apparently, the most successful way to be let into Berghain (apart from speaking German, looking a little bit gay, and wearing a scarf and no socks, as go the rumours) is to be alone. Solo clubbing is so totally a thing, my (other, not so dj-y) flatmate says, as he cranks up the 90s beats for a Saturday night out. Even when I was sat on my own in the club when flattie went to smoke, I didn’t feel awkies, and there were tons of people by themselves.
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| This basically means 'you think you're Harry potter haha'
Also, there are no mirrors in the toilets (‘You shouldn’t care what you look like’ - not a quote from me), and ordering prosecco was actually cheaper than my standard voddy and coke.
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