Uni Sport in Germany

Everyone knows how much fun sport at university in the UK is. From trips away to socials to competitions to balls, it can be the foundation for firm friends. We have belly-dancing clubs and non-serious volleyball and sports which are so weather-dependent that most of the year is spent talking about the sport and dressing up for nights out. Anyway, I needed friends in Berlin, so I duly signed up to not one but three sports clubs, ready for the onslaught of new pals.

1) Bauch - Beine - Po (Bums tums legs to you)
It started out promisingly - I struck up conversation with a fellow class-taker in the changing rooms and thought she was the one: the key to German friends and endless conversations auf deutsch. Then, she disappeared, and the next time I saw her was three months later when I was preparing to leave.

Take 2) Yoga
Yoga was supposed to be me turning over a new leaf and becoming a lover of the mornings. The class started at 8AM, which meant, with a commuting time of an hour, embracing the dawn and getting up at 6.30. I lasted two weeks. This was a shame because I met a lovely German girl who could also have been the one, except my early morning conversations skills were exceedingly poor.

Take 3) Indoor Climbing
I had the highest hopes for climbing. (Unintentional pun but nonetheless very proud). You have to get into pairs and talk about ropes and knots and things - the obvious path to lifelong friendships. Except that in my first climbing class, half comprised foreign students, which was really great, apart from they lacked the language skills I so desperately wanted in a friend. Due to class timings, I moved to a different day. The class was smaller and 5 thousand percent keener than my previous one. I was very, very bad compared to the others, getting cramp in my leg all the time and forgetting how to tie the important knots. On our penultimate meeting, the trainer asked who would like to take the climbing award test. All shot up their hands -and then looked pointedly at me (arms firmly by my side). Embarrassing. The next moment of awkwardness came the afternoon after my parents had left. I was already quite emotional, and struck with further terror when the instructor announced today was the day for purposefully falling off the wall 'to see how it felt'. I managed it the first time, and it felt TERRIFYING. However, my climbing partner was a very adamant German who insisted I try it again. After a small break in the toilets giving myself a tiny pep talk, I strode out, and she wrestled me into my harness. At the top I remembered what an insane idea the falling was and asked to come down. There were laughs from below. Eventually I did it, filling the small climbing hall with squeals. Afterwards, I bid everyone a swift goodbye. 'Mach gut' they said, which I think means have a good rest of your life.

The Olympic Stadium in Berlin - somewhere I will never be due to my sporting weaknesses.